Forever Young

From the first day of freshman year, high schoolers have the American dream of furthering their education drilled into their heads from parents and teachers alike. During my four years, I was forced to listen to the endless babble and debate on which prestigious university would lead to the brightest future outside of Maine. Their anticipation in my mind was not only a waste of time, but grossly misguided. After all, I was the smart one; I was taking the same exact classes for nearly three-quarters the cost. And Central Maine Community College wasn’t awful looking from the outside either. Yeah, maybe the campus was a little small, but it was built right next to the beautiful Lake Auburn. [Which is great until you feel the arctic air blow in right off the lake.]                  

My first semester at CMCC was a blur. I bumbled through the halls, checking my course schedule to make sure I wouldn’t walk into the wrong classroom. This wouldn’t have been so bad if I wasn’t checking it 4 weeks into the semester or taking more than 5 classes. Despite my compulsive attention to detail, I still learned from countless newbie mistakes. Rather than focus on the virtually unlimited educational resources at my disposal, I picked up real-world experience. If only I had a guide back then with things I could tell myself about; things to look out for; almost like street smarts for college.

Things To Know About CMCC:

• The meditation room is not an ideal place to enjoy a quiet breakfast. Especially if it’s a sausage breakfast sandwich. [Mediation room = Somali prayer lounge]
• The computer lab monitor will get irritated if she finds out that you have been signing your name as “McLovin’” on the sign-in sheet all semester.
• Stay away from kids wearing trench coats.
• Having a racially diverse mindset is a crucial part of attending CMCC. The school prides itself in giving everyone an equal opportunity to attend school and shows appreciation for steps made to shatter racial boundaries.  Example: The broadcasting President Obama’s inauguration across campus. [Still can’t figure out why they held classes that day, though, considering it was Martin Luther King Day.]
• Religion is held in high regard by some at CMCC. The Campus Crusade informed me that as a Christian, it is my responsibility to celebrate Pastor Appreciation Month. [Which is in October, if anyone wanted to know]
• Don’t take Substance Abuse. After passing the class, I was expecting to receive a 6 month chip rather than college credits. [It was also the first time a group presentation turned into an individual one because the guy I was working with went to jail for possession.]
• Who said video games would never get you anywhere? A proud member of the CMCC Gaming Club was allowed to use his Halo clan experience for a resume in Technical Writing.
• When you realize that a Subway sandwich choice trumps you midterm studying, it’s probably time to learn better time management skills.
• No matter how much you think your teacher has a sense of humor, bringing a picture rather than a 1,000 word essay is always a bad idea.
• You’re probably smarter than half of the people at CMCC. Some kid who dropped ENG-101 the semester before complained about a teacher who marked points off his “gramicly perfect” papers.

When I first applied at CMCC, I thought I was getting a bargain. Instead, I got a special needs home where smoking booths are a more popular attraction than the library; where half of the students seem to be over the age of 30. Those students are the worst. The kind of people who think they’re brilliant when in reality, someone in middle school brings just as much intellectual value to a conversation. Critical Thinking was filled with them; wannabe philosophers debating our own existence in a class run by an absent-minded pot head. [Who also happened to look like Jesus.] My parents always used to say, “Don’t judge a book by its cover, people are nice if you get to know them.”

It’s not that I don’t think they’re nice, I just think if they shut their mouths they would look smarter. But what do I know? I just attend community college.